To Have and to Hold
by zebraboymom
Summary: Kono's getting married, but to who? What does Steve have to say about it? A long one shot. Steve/Kono


To Have and to Hold

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They are not mine. I just pretend they are.

Author Notes: Kono is getting married to the wrong guy. Will Steve wake up before it's too late? Fluff for those of us starving for the fall premiere.

Steve McGarrett had been in love with Kono Kalakaua for as long as he could remember. Even though he acted calm, cool and collected, he fell hard the first day he met her on the beach. He had watched her deck a man twice her size. He was a Navy SEAL and SEALs could hide htheir feelings well. No one had figured it out for a long time. Chin and Danny finally uncovered his secret one night after Kono was hurt in a sting operation. They had the drop on the guys Kono was supposed to be buying drugs from, but one of the big guys selling her the drugs couldn't control his rage and he backhanded Kono into a table knocking her out for three minutes. He had counted every minute. They were the longest three minutes of Steve's life. He had rushed to her side decking the guy responsible on the way. He tore his shirt off pressing it to the cut in an attempt to stop the bleeding and had tenderly scooped her up in his arms and carried her out of the building. When Danny and Chin came out after they handcuffed and read the guys their rights the ambulance was gone and Steve with it. He had never left the scene of a crime before and the two men stood looking at each other in shock. When they arrived at the hospital Steve was pacing a hole in the hospital floor waiting to hear from the doctor. The two men approached him cautiously. He looked like a caged animal.

"What's taking them so long?"

"Relax Steve. They probably did an MRI since she was unconscious. That cut looked like it needed stitches and you know how slow ER can be."

"Kono's tough. She's been hurt worse than this before."

Steve backed up to a wall and slumped down to the floor with his head in his hands. Neither of his friends had ever seen him this distraught before. Something was up. Danny gave Chin a look and sat down on the floor next to his friend.

"Talk to me Babe. What's going on in your head?"

"The sound her head made on that table. The crunch. It sounded like a melon. I will never get that sound out of my head. I should have seen it coming. I should have protected her."

"Whoa. Wait a minute. It happened in an instant. There was no way any of us saw that coming. Kono's a big girl. She knows what comes with the job."

"I don't want to lose her Danny. I…"

"You're in love with her!"

"What? No!"

"You are. It's written all over your face."

Just then the doctor came out to talk to them. Steve was on his feet instantly."

"How is she?"

"She's going to be just fine. She has a mild concussion and the cut took five stitches, but other than that, she is doing well. Would you like to go and see her?"

Steve nodded and followed the doctor down the hall. Chin and Danny exchanged a look and followed their friend to her room.

Steve pushed open the door and found Kono sitting up in bed smiling at them.

"Hey guys. Crazy night huh?"

Steve went straight to her and pulled her into a hug. She looked over his shoulder at Chin and Danny who shrugged and shook their heads.

"Boss, I'm fine, okay? I'm going to be just fine. I have to stay overnight so they can monitor me, but he said I could go home in the morning. I guess I won't make it into work tomorrow."

She chuckled and tried to lighten the moment. Steve finally pulled back, wiping at his eyes quickly and turning away from her for a minute.

Danny and Chin both came over to give her a hug.

"Good thing you have a hard head like Steve. I think the table got the raw end of the deal. Need anything?"

"No, I'll probably just sleep when they let me and watch TV, although my head is throbbing right now. This is what a headache is like huh? I never had one before today. I don't like them much."

The three men stayed for a while longer. Finally the nurse sent them all packing and Kono was shocked when Steve leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She looked at him and he shrugged his shoulders and left.

The three men split up once they were outside and went their separate ways. As soon as the other two were gone, Steve went back into the hospital and made his way to Kono's room. She was lying on the bed asleep. He carefully placed a chair by her bed and settled in for the night. No way he was going to leave her alone tonight. He gently pushed her hair back from her face and let his fingers trail down her cheek. She was so beautiful. He laid his head on the bed and watched her sleep until his eyes drifted shut. The charge nurse came by to wake Kono up a couple of hours later and when she did, she motioned to Kono to be quiet. She pointed over at Steve, smiled and whispered.

"He's been here ever since you fell asleep. I didn't have the heart to make him leave again. He seems to care a great deal about you."

"He feels guilty about what happened. He's my boss."

"He's more than a boss. I saw how he was when you were brought in. I've never seen a man so scared. He's in love with you."

"No. That can't be it. I've worked for him for over a year and he's never made any kind of move on me, never said anything, never done anything."

"Honey, I know these big silent types. Emotions run deep. He's got it bad for you. Trust me."

Kono looked down at Steve and smiled. Was it possible he did care about her as more than a colleague? She knew how she felt. Ever since that first meeting she had liked him. His leadership amazed her. He was everything she looked for in a guy. They spoke Geek to each other, but could both kick ass when it was called for. Would he admit to feeling something for her? She reached down and ran her fingers through his hair. He sighed in his sleep and snuggled his head against her side. Kono continued to lightly stroke her fingers through his curls.

Steve awoke to the most wonderful sensation. He opened his eyes to meet a pair of chocolate brown ones watching him and the most magic fingers stroking through his hair. She was touching him. He smiled sleepily at her before he realized just how bad it must look for him to be there. He sat up quickly and Kono let her hand drop to the bed.

"Sorry, I just wanted to be sure you were okay...you scared me today."

"I didn't mean to. I had no idea that guy would do that or I would have ducked."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're going to be all right. Do you mind me staying?"

"Steve, that chair can't be very comfortable and I'm going to be just fine. I just have a really bad headache. You should go home and get a good night's sleep."

"On one condition."

"Which is?"

"You let me take you home tomorrow and play nurse maid for a few hours."

"Seriously?"

"I just…I just need to know you're really okay."

"Fine, but no fussing over me."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Okay, you've got yourself a deal."

Kono held her hand out to shake on it. Steve looked deeply into her eyes and then smiled softly as he took her hand. He held on a little bit too long, but Kono didn't mind. He leaned over and for a minute she thought he was going to kiss her on the lips, but he ended up kissing her cheek before he walked to the door. He turned back and gave her another heart stopping smile.

"See you tomorrow."

"Night Steve."

"Night Kono."

As the door shut, Kono looked up at the ceiling and her legs did the happy dance under her sheets. He does like me.

And that's how it started. The next day was spent together and every day after work along with every weekend for almost six months.

**Present Day**

Kono stood looking in the mirror at her reflection. Why did she pick this dress? She didn't really like it. It was too fancy. She wanted something simple, cottony and to go barefoot. When she pictured the most important day of her life it had never looked like this. She wanted to get married on the beach at sunset, not in this huge church with several hundred people. She didn't want to get married at all. Why was she?

She was hurt. She knew it. It was so stupid and impulsive. She'd told him she was in love with him and he had pushed her away. She had run into the arms of the first man to show her any kind of attention, but did she love him? Charlie was good looking. He was successful. He had liked her since they were kids. He obviously doted on her, but there was just one problem. He wasn't Steve McGarrett.

Even though her mom and bridesmaids were in the next room, she broke down and the damns burst. She dropped her head and let the silent tears fall. How did someone as smart as she was let herself get railroaded into something she knew now was a mistake? She tried to wipe the tears away, but they continued to fall.

"A bride shouldn't cry on her wedding day unless they are tears of joy."

She looked up and there he was, leaning against the doorframe in a suit and tie, staring back at her in the mirror.

"Why are you here? I thought you said you couldn't come?"

"Chin and Danny made me."

"Nobody makes Steve McGarrett do anything he doesn't want to do."

"Obviously those two have never ganged up on you before."

Kono turned to face him, as Steve stood upright and crossed to stand in front of her. He reached up tenderly wiping the tears away with his thumbs. The feel of his fingers on her face made her skin feel like it was on fire. His hands remained cupping her face as he looked into her eyes and memorized everything he could about her. He was sure he would never get to touch her this way again. Moisture began to collect in his own eyes and he had to look away, dropping his hands from her face and sticking them in his pockets to be safe.

Kono tried to pull herself together.

"I…I'm glad you came Steve. Even though things didn't work out between us, I want us to be…friends."

"Not sure I can do that, but I'll try. Be happy Kono. You deserve to be. God knows I put you through hell."

The air in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. So many unspoken words, so many questions, so much pain. Why did it have to end like this? They had been happy, deliriously happy. This she was sure of. All she remembered of that night was telling him she loved him and then like a switch had been flipped, he backed away from her. He even went so far as to say she didn't mean it. That hurt more than anything else. He denied her the right to love him. How could such a strong man be so incredibly broken inside? She told him it didn't matter if he couldn't say the words yet. She was willing to wait until he could. That was when he told her he didn't know if he ever could. They slept apart for the first night in months. She had cried herself to sleep that night and for months afterwards. That was when she ran into Charlie at the lab. He came along when she was at her worst ever and made her feel special again. She didn't love him the way she did Steve, but she was pretty sure she would never love anyone the way she did Steve. Besides, she didn't believe in a perfect love anymore.

Steve spoke almost in a whisper.

"I probably won't be staying for the reception, so…may I kiss the bride now?"

Kono's eyes went wide and she felt herself tearing up again.

"I…would like that."

Steve bent over her for the last time and cupped her face as he placed a soft but fierce kiss on her lips. He stayed there a little bit too long before he pulled back. They jumped apart as someone cleared her throat. Kono looked up to see her mother glaring at her with seven bridesmaids trying to squeeze in the doorframe with her.

As intimidating as her mother could be, Steve still took a moment to take Kono's hand in his and squeeze it.

"You look beautiful Kono. I knew you would make a beautiful bride. Congratulations."

And then he released her hand and he was gone. Her bridal party rushed in on her, but only one looked at her with understanding. Rachel knew what it was like to love someone even when you weren't together anymore. She had divorced Danny out of fear and she knew Steve had left Kono the same way. She had loved Danny for forever and she knew Kono felt the same way about Steve. As they gathered at the back of the church for the procession, she leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Don't make my mistake Kono. It's not too late. Be patient and you may yet have the love of your life."

She kissed her softly on the cheek and looked back at her as she started down the aisle.

"Kono took her dad's arm, straightening her back and facing her new life. She had made her choice, right?

The music switched to the wedding march, something else she had not wanted and everyone stood as she made her way towards Charlie. Steve stood in the back on the last row and his eyes bored into hers as she walked past him. She blinked furiously, trying to prevent the waterworks again. She could feel his eyes on her back all the way to the altar. Charlie was watching her and she could see him looking at Steve and her interact silently. He looked down at his shoes and then back up at her as she stepped up next to him. Kono felt so guilty. She couldn't meet his eyes. The ceremony started, but the words fell on deaf ears. She was remembering the kiss. Suddenly she couldn't breath. She couldn't do this. It felt so wrong. How could she hurt Charlie this way? How could she ask him to spend his life with someone who would never be able to give him her whole heart? She did hear the next words the pastor spoke.

"Is there anyone who can show just cause why these two should not be married. Let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

Danny looked at Steve's face and held his breath. Come on man. It's now or never you stupid lovesick too proud jerk. If he could, he would will Steve to speak just with his eyes.

Kono looked down and waited, but nothing. She looked back up at Charlie and realized he saw the tears forming in her eyes. This was not the look of a bride to her husband. It hit him like a ton of bricks. This is a mistake.

Steve suddenly stood and one word came out of his mouth in a strangled, tortured cry.

"Kono…"

He was out of his seat and staggering away down the aisle for the doors. He started to run then and burst out of the church, running for his jeep. He was crying so hard he couldn't even see where he was going. He finally stopped and leaned over pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes. That was it. She was gone. He had been so stupid. He hadn't felt like he had the right to love someone so sweet, so amazing. Trying to protect her had seemed the right thing to do at the time. He climbed in his jeep and drove home.

Danny found him an hour later sitting in his lawn chair staring out at the sea. As he untied his tux tie and flopped down on the other chair, Steve shot him a look out of the corner of his bloodshot eyes. Danny grimaced as he rolled up his pant legs and began taking off his shoes and socks.

"Now why'd you have to be out here man? I've got sand all caught in my dress shoes."

"Shouldn't you still be at the reception with Rachel?"

"You are such an idiot sometimes. There was no reception, you big jerk. If you'd stuck around for half a minute, you'd know that."

Steve tried to wrap his arms around what Danny had just said.

"What do you mean there was no reception?"

"Well, you can't really have a reception if there wasn't a wedding."

"What?"

Steve sat straight up in his chair.

"After you stood up and left, Kono burst into tears. She and Charlie had some sort of quiet conversation and then she kissed him on the cheek and fled the church as well. By then you were long gone and she was left standing on the grass in front of the church crying her eyes out. That girl is so in love with you she can't even see straight. She took my keys and drove off. I had to wait and take Rachel and Grace home in her car before I came over here. Nobody knows where she is man. Her parents are beside themselves and Chin is ready to knock your block off. You really made a mess of things in your Sir Galahad way."

"I just…I come with too much baggage Danny. I'm afraid I'll make her miserable."

"Well, apparently you make her miserable without you, so how could it get any worse? I am only going to say this once man. If you love her, then find her and tell her before it's too late. If you don't tell her, you may never see her again. Is there a place she goes when she wants to get away? A place no one knows about?"

Steve looked at Danny with renewed hope.

"There's a waterfall we swim at sometimes. She goes there when she wants to think. She either went there or she's surfing. I'll start there."

He jumped up, but Danny stood up just as fast and grabbed his arm hard."

"If you hurt her again Steve, I will personally kick your butt along with Chin. I mean it man. You tell her you love her and you go all in or walk away now. She needs a complete commitment from you or let her go."

"Trust me Danno, I know what I almost lost. I'm not going to ever let her go again, unless she doesn't want me. I hope I can convince her that this is real."

"Say the words Steve. She has to hear them from you to know for sure. Can you do that now?"

"I love her so much I can't breath sometimes. I've been miserable without her."

"Then go, because the next time I wear a monkey suit it better be for your wedding."

As Steve ran towards his jeep, he turned back for a second.

"Sorry buddy, but we're getting married on the beach. Own any board shorts?"

Steve was gone before what he said could register with Danny.

A half hour later Steve pulled into the turnout by the path that lead to Kono's secret place. Her car was parked up under some trees and he could see her veil and wedding dress filling up the back seat where she had tossed them. She must have gone home briefly and switched cars. He walked down the path thinking through what he wanted to say to her. His throat was constricting and he kept swallowing hard. What if it was too late? He had really made a mess of things.

She was sitting on a rock with her back to him. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and her head was bowed. He almost tripped when he realized what she was wearing. It was his U.S. Navy SEAL t-shirt. She was always stealing it. He hadn't seen it in…months. He felt himself choking up at the thought that she still wore it. Did it comfort her? He came to stand behind her, knowing she would sense his presence.

He saw her stiffen, as he got closer.

"Kono…"

"How'd you know I was here?"

"After what happened I knew you'd need some time to think."

Kono turned and laid her right cheek down on her knees, looking up at him. He couldn't take his eyes from her beautiful face. He sat down beside her, but not touching her. After several minutes of silence, he finally spoke.

"You didn't marry him."

"Wow! No wonder you're a detective. Your powers of observation are so keen."

"Why?"

"Why didn't I marry him?"

"Yeah."

"I wasn't in love with him."

"Yeah, about that…Kono…I…"

"Steve, why are you here?"

"I…I wanted to be sure you were okay."

"Why?'

"He should tell her the truth. He chickened out.

"Because…we're friends."

"Right. Friends. Well, as tempting as it is to bare my soul to you, I'm going to take a rain check. I'd really like to be alone.

"I can't do that."

"What?"

"I've spent the last six months leaving you alone and I can't take it any more."

"Yeah? Well, get used to it. I did."

Kono stood up suddenly and pulled his shirt over her head. She dove into the water and swam underneath the waterfall disappearing from sight.

Steve was a patient man. He was a SEAL. He could wait. Watching her swim was like watching a beautiful exotic fish. She would swim in and out from under the falling water, diving and turning in a frenetic series of loops. She was working out her demons. Steve knew what that was like. It went on and on for way too long.

Finally, Steve stood, pulled his shirt off and dove in too. Kono heard the splash and swam back under the fall again. He followed her. She climbed out on the ledge behind the pounding water and sat trembling from the effort. Steve swam after her and stood up in the waist deep water in front of her. When she wouldn't look at him, he finally reached tentatively out and cupped her chin. He gently lifted her eyes to meet his. It was now or never.

"Kono, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for the last six months. I was an idiot. I thought by pushing you away, I could protect you. I'm terrible at relationships and you deserve better."

"You're right."

"I…I want a second chance."

"Steve…"

He cut her off before she could stop him.

"If I don't say this, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life. That night when you told me how you felt, I ran. I was a coward. Instead of saying what I was feeling, I hurt you. I'm sorry. I want to tell you how I really feel even if I've ruined what we had. I love you Kono. I've loved you for a long time and that scares me. I'm not sure I'm very good at loving anyone, but I do love you and I almost lost you today. I'm in love with you, Kono. I'm saying it out loud so there's no question anymore. Do you hear me?"

Kono's eyes filled up with tears again. She didn't think it was possible to cry this much in one day. She reached for Steve and pulled him between her legs, burying her face in his chest. Wrapping her arms around him, she laid her head over his heart and held on for dear life.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I've got you. I promise I won't ever leave again Kono. I only want to be with you. Only with you."

They stood there wrapped in each other's arms for a long time. When Kono finally pulled back and looked up at Steve, he pushed the wet tendrils of her hair behind her ears and framed her face with his hands. She leaned forward into his touch. She had missed those hands. Hazel eyes looked into brown ones and they were both lost in each other, just like they had been that first night in the hospital. Finally Steve got the courage to lean in and kiss her. They both sank into each other and the kiss deepened and became passionate. Hands and arms touched and caressed until they both had to break for air and get themselves under control. After all, it was a public place. Kono's next words made him shake with laughter.

"What? No hand shake?"

Steve lifted her down off the ledge and held her hand as he moved back under the waterfall and pulled her back towards the bank. He climbed out and reached for her. They kept eye contact as he brought her up and into his arms again. He picked up her towel and dried her off while she studied his face. He seemed different to her, like a huge burden had been lifted. He was so tender as he squeezed the water out of her hair and reached to slip his shirt back over her head. His voice was deep and gravelly with emotion.

"You still wear my shirt?"

"It was all I had left of you."

She pulled his shirt over his head as Steve reached for her again.

"Not here."

She grabbed his hand and they ran to his jeep. An hour later they were tangled together in Steve's bed. They had made love for the first time with the words I love you coming from both of them. Kono was draped across Steve's chest and his fingers ran through her hair.

"I know you just ran away from a wedding Kono, but I want you to know that when you're ready…I want to marry you."

Kono lifted her head and placed her chin on his chest as she looked into his eyes.

"No church wedding."

"Got it."

"The beach."

"Definitely."

"Comfortable clothes, but no bikini."

"Board shorts. I already told Danny to get some."

"Okay then."

"You'll marry me?"

"Yes."

"Wait. Did I just propose?"

"Pretty sure you did."

Steve pulled her up until her lips met his and he kissed her deeply.

"And you said yes, right?"

"I'm yours, Steve. I have been since I met you. It's always been you. Get used to it."

"To have and to hold."

"Practicing already?"

"If I was that bad at saying I love you, imagine what wedding vows are going to do to me."

"Relax Commander. We'll take it nice and slow."

"Yes. Ma'am."

"Now kiss me."

"Yes, ma'am!"

A/N: Got that off my chest. Hurry September. I can't stand the wait. I know they are talking about Charlie as a love interest, so I'm just saying, if that's true, then this is how I want the storyline to end. Until next time…


End file.
